How do you stop being depressed?

Okay so im having a lot of trouble figuring out who i am.. i feel like if i choose to do something that i love other people will judge me or if one of my role models doesnt do it too then its just not cool. For instance i love piano and always have. I am a natural at playing and started playing when i was about 5. But i quit because i was embarrassed for some reason and now i cant play very good anymore. Basically im missing out on life but i dont know how i can become more confident when i always want to be someone else. I love music and was in band for 4 years but quit when i got to highschool because i was embarrassed and didnt want to be called a band geek. I love guitar and piano but feel like its too late for me to start now and i wont ever be any good. I dont dress or wear my hair how i want because im scared people wont like it. I dress like your typical hollister girl in highschool and hate it! I dont feel comfortable or confident. I would rather dress with more personality and wear cute jumpers and tights to school but i know people would make fun of me so much. I also have bipolar so im extremely moody from week to week. Basically i just need your help and advice. I will appreciate it so much!How do you stop being depressed?
Here are a few points to consider. You are young and have emotional issues. So does everyone else your age. But that is important for you to accept. You see, you are making a very big mistake. That mistake is in expecting members of your own peer group to give you the support you need when they are nowhere near being able to do so.



They will always let you down. They have not yet matured to the point where they can be honest or supportive. They, too, are seeking approval from the group. The result? You are all doing things you don't really want to do, saying things you don't really believe and wearing styles you would not otherwise choose. It is perhaps the most artificial environment you will ever experience and it happens when you are the most vulnerable; when you are going though more physical and psychological changes then you will at any other point in your life.



But, here is the good news. You are one of the special ones. You notice it. Most never do. That is an important character trait. Use it, develop it. It will serve you well. Now that you ';get it';, you can simply refuse to cooperate anymore. There is a very important old saying that applies:



';This above all else; to thyne own self, be true.';



You are depressed because you should be. This is very different than ';clinical'; depression. Clinical depression is when a person is depressed for no reason. You are not clinically depressed. You have an actual reason; a real cause for your depression. You are living a lie. A lie that is suppressing your joy, your sense of self worth. You have sold your soul for a few pieces of approval from people who's approval is worthless.



Time to buy it back. Here is the process. Tonight, as you go to bed, in your dimly lit room, sit on the side of your bed and hold your pillow in in your arms. Now relax and allow yourself to go back in time. Back to the earliest memory you have. See yourself as that little girl, at night, alone and frightened. Remember how the room looked, how it felt. Remember how lonely you were. How alone. How sad.



Then, go to her. Take her in your arms and comfort her. Tell her everything is going to be alright from now on. Promise her that you will never let anyone hurt her or make her feel bad. Tell her you will never leave her alone again, now that you know she is there.



Now put her down and step back. Tell her to look at you. See how tall you are. See how pretty you are. See how how powerful you are. Then tell her that you are her. You are what she will be. Now lay her down to sleep and promise you will be there from now on.



Then open your eyes. Tomorrow, you start the process of defining yourself. You will define yourself in the way that best suits you and that little girl that is counting on you. Love her enough to protect her and be honest. Play your piano, play your guitar, wear the clothes that suit you. Be true to yourself. Remember, you made her a promise.



';I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.';



-Robert Frost



*How do you stop being depressed?
Since you know you're bipolar, you're probably being treated for it with medication. you should tell your psychiatrist you need counseling to help you with self esteem issues.



You love music but deny yourself the room and space to enjoy exploring your love and passion. You say it's because of ways in which you anticipate others will judge you but the reality is that you are the one standing in as the judge. You represent those judgmental others and that makes you your own worst enemy. You need help to see how you're hurting yourself. This is one of those situations where it's clear you have yet to understand what it is to love yourself.



This is correctable. I wouldn't put it off as every day of self contempt makes it that much harder to resolve the underlying conflicts.



Good luck and treatment to you!



Len
It seems to me that, because of the biological nature of bipolar disorder, a lot of people see in as a problem with a strictly medical solution, like indigestion. Bipolar people can often benefit from cognitive-behavioral therapy and stress management combined with medication. You can find out about it in The Feeling Good Handbook by psychiatrist and cognitive therapy expert David D. Burns. Studies have shown this book to be useful for some people with depression. A study showed it to be helpful to depressed teenagers ages 13 to 18, although it's likely that they got help from adults. Of course, self help isn't for everybody.



Other good books:



The Depression Cure by therapist and healthy lifestyle expert Stephen Ilardi, things we all need anyway.



Can't Sleep, Can鈥檛 Stay Awake: A Woman Guide to Sleep Disorders by Meir Kryger



People often say ';Be yourself'; and that's right, but it's part of the solution. Find a balance between being yourself and living within social norms. The basic principle behind being yourself is that it's pointless to put on act, being someone you're clearly not, and expecting people to believe it indefinitely. Sooner or later, the truth comes out.



Goodwill is a lot more important than style. Remarks like ';She's so nice'; will get you farther socially than ';Her manners are impeccable'; or ';She really knows how to dress.';



In an art school, a teacher said to his students, ';Don't worry about style. Just draw, and whatever happens is your style.'; Do the right thing, and have some fun.